The Soldier and The Civilian -A Tale of Co-masochism and Self-Proclaimed Innocence

I had an ear-opening discussion recently with a pacifist mother-of-two who was surprised to discover I was formerly in the armed forces. She inquired about the ‘extent’ of my ‘involvement’ in the war, rather the ‘nature’ of my ‘commitment’ to the campaign while I was deployed; in short, had I killed anyone and how did I feel about my previous job that potentially demanded my doing so?

Before I responded, I thought for a moment about the presumption of the warrior as the one who kills. It seems obvious, from the muzzle of the smoking gun that has ended human life, trace backwards from one mechanical part to the next until you reach the trigger; the finger that is closest is connected to the man/woman whom you may rightfully label a murderer, right?

I wonder, though, if that is the whole story. Two strangers, one has killed the other, but not before traveling from one continent to another, enduring harsh and unforgiving living/working conditions, and indeed risking his/her own life to do so. I believe there may be some missing pieces to this puzzle that we must add before we can rightfully call it complete. Who else, for surely there must be others, is involved in this murder? You will find all accomplices in much the same manner that you discovered the triggerman: from the origins (politicians/government officials) of a conflict that has ended numerous human lives, trace downward through the social structure until you reach the very bottom (the citizens of a ‘participatory’ government, the enablers of the most influential world power to act); the closest able-to-vote, law-abiding, tax-paying, suburban middle-class mother is the passive, behind-the-scenes culprit of the 1st-person killer.

Consider the two of these people; their similarities are fascinating. The soldier is obeying orders because he must do so in order to provide for his family. The civilian is paying taxes and spending residual income, activities that drive the economy, because she must do so in order to provide for her family. The soldier does not have time to be critical of his orders and besides, doing so might jeopardize the stability he has established within the military. The civilian does not have time to be politically aware and active and besides, doing research about things like corporate interests in truth-distortion and the nature of the economic vote could uncover uncomfortable realities that might jeopardize the stability she has established within the American culture of consumerism. They’re like twins separated at birth! -their differing circumstances make them appear different, but they are cut from the same stone.

So who is to blame for the man they killed, government? That’s impossible; government does not physically exist. It has no ulterior motives or evil character-tainting sentiments. Is it the elected officers of government? That’s possible but unlikely; their blame, so far as I can tell, must be equal to that of the soldier’s and the civilian’s. Many of the defensive alibis you will hear from government officials are identical to those of the other two: providing for their families, inadequate time to sharply consider the wholeness of things, desire to avert jeopardizing their stability, and these alibis are, I believe, not illegitimate if the others’ alibis are acceptable. Is it human nature? -Moral impurity? -Some inherent, destructive antisocial pathology that is ingrained or acquired during infancy? I felt these were unlikely explanations as well, for the world must have been at peace before its people were at war, but I ran out of time; I had to respond to her questions lest I be considered rude. For the time, I figured our hands must all share some of the strangers’ blood; remove us all from the scenario and the man would still be alive.

I responded to her questions with a condensed version of what you’ve read above, maintaining eye contact with her, the person I thought I hadn’t a thing in common with, and thinking about the families we killed together. I remember the sun was brutally hot that afternoon but we had discovered refuge in the shade of a towering tree. I watched her two beautiful daughters running around barefoot in the tall grass, safe from all harms I could imagine -safe because no nation in the world behaves like ours, behaves like us.

— Dan Black

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